The other day when I was meeting with my disciples we were talking about loving God. We were trying to think of practical ways to do that. So, I asked them what we do to develop a relationship with a person. I recognized that the answers they were giving were familiar. They matched up pretty well with the five love languages. I thought it was very helpful in the realm of trying to love God to think of it in terms of the five love languages. So, I want to relay those thoughts to you.
Dr. Gary Chapman wrote the Book Five Love Languages, How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. It has sold over 3,000,000 copies. He followed up with a version of how to apply the five languages to your kids. The reason I give you these facts is, I think they demonstrate that the principles of this book have proved very valuable to people’s relationships. Therefore, I think they can be very valuable to developing our relationship with God. The five “language” categories he writes about are five general ways to communicate love and commitment to someone you are in a relationship with. Those five general ways to develop relationship are: quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, giving gifts, and acts of service.
Here is how I think those translate to loving God in practical ways.
Quality time = isolated, focused time with God in conversation. We may listen to Him through His word. We may talk to Him and listen to Him through prayer (don’t forget the listening part). If you don’t get alone with God and focus only on Him, it’s hard for it to be “quality” time. If I’m watching TV while I’m having a conversation with my wife, she definitely does not consider that quality time. So, why should we think it any different with regard to our time with God? Sure, we are to continually converse with God throughout the day, but if you really want to have intimacy with Him, maybe hear from Him, turn off all the media, go into a quiet room (instead of driving), and spend some focused time conversing with God.
Physical touch = really entering into the presence of God so that you feel Him. My primary love language is physical touch. When I am touching my wife or she is touching me I am so satisfied that I often sigh audibly. All the tension in me feels like it is quickly being exhaled from my body. I am so happy to just be with her, and I can feel it. Well, God is spirit and so we can’t touch His body. But, I believe we can be with Him in a way that is so satisfying that we feel like we have had personal touch with God. Go back to what I talked about related to quality time, and when you spend that time with God, rather than just fulfilling some kind of obligation many of us feel we have to prayer, instead, focus on enjoying the relationship.
Words of affirmation = telling God all He means to you. There are many ways to do this. I like to review my previous day and thank God for all He has done. I also like to praise Him daily for something about His character, which I have learned in His word recently. Of course, thanking and praising God for salvation, forgiveness, and grace should be regular things we express. We can also tell Him how much He means to us through songs. We do it on Sunday together, but I often enjoy putting on my MP3 player, going into my back yard or for a walk, and just singing my heart out to God. Try it some time.
Gifts = giving something to God that He values. This could be so many things. I’ll just suggest a couple. The one that is most obvious to me is, we can give financially to causes that are close to God’s heart, things that advance the gospel, care for the poor, widows and orphans. Our whole lives could fall into this category. The Bible talks about us living holy lives being a valuable offering to God.
Acts of service = serving God by serving someone whom He loves. God calls us to serve one another in the church. We, believers, make up Christ’s body, so when we serve one another, we serve God. We can also serve people who don’t know Jesus, as a means to showing them God’s love. This could lead to them loving God, so it is a means of serving God. The Bible says everything we do, we should do it as if serving God, including our jobs.
Here is my challenge to you. Assess which of these needs the most work in your relationship with God. Then begin to work on it.
I believe if we do these things, and we are aware why we are doing them, our lives will express love toward God and we will feel His love toward us more, because we are investing in the relationship.
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