If we are having significant struggles in our marriage, we need to look no farther than the insidious S - selfishness. Are you being selfish? You may answer, “My spouse is selfish.” But before you look to him/her, look at yourself.
The apostle Paul gives solutions to selfishness in marriage in Ephesians chapter 5. He gives an alternative S for the husband and an alternative S for the wife, to move us toward healthy and meaningful marriages.
Husbands, our S is sacrifice. And our model is our Lord and how He has engaged in relationship with us. Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”
Wives, your S is submit. If you love the Lord and can submit to Him, in a similar manner, you are to follow the leadership of your husband and respect him. Ephesians 5:22, “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Ephesians 5:33b, “The wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”
To hear more about having a healthy marriage, according to God’s design, click here and listen to the April 29th sermon.
I’m listening to the book The Meaning of Marriage, where I heard, “Our culture makes individual freedom, autonomy, and (individual) fulfillment the very highest values. But thoughtful people know deep down that any love relationship at all means the loss of all three.” The book quotes Duke University ethics professor, Stanley Hauerwas, as saying, “Destructive to marriage is the self-fulfillment ethic, that assumes marriage and the family are primarily institutions of personal fulfillment, necessary for us to become whole and happy.” Have you been conformed to these cultural views of your own marriage, which just feed our already natural bent toward selfishness? Let’s recapture God’s view of marriage, and live it out by the power of His Spirit, to God’s glory, to significant meaning of our marriages and lives, and even, ironically, our likely personal satisfaction. In addition to my recommendations to reflect on Ephesians 5:22-33, I would highly recommend Timothy Keller’s book The Meaning of Marriage.
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